The Chosen Ones

D: Cheer up, man. I could tell you a joke.
P: Well, yeah. The atmosphere here is so tense anyway.
D: No, Phodom. You're tense.
P: So it's just me?
D: Yep. Remember the mission when I was under your command?
P: When you were a first ranker?
D: And the mission you were promoted to the fourth ranker.
P: So what's so funny about it ?
D: You seem to have forgotten it. I can't believe you have forgotten such a hilarious event like that. Remember who we had to fight in that battle ?
P: No.
D: It was the vampires. Those blood-suckers really scared me because of their abilities. But they were still no match for us Dragon Slayers. Then the vampires' leader came to the battlefield.
P: So what happened next ?
D: I remember him wearing a black cloak at that moment. The darkness radiating from him scared our warriors but then he unveiled himself.
P: I guess he must be a big scary vampire right ?
D: Many of our brethrens are stunned briefly because ... he SPARKLED in the sun. His skin is so bright that it blinds our eyes. I still remember his pale white skin and his ice-cold look in his eyes.
P: Oh yes I remember that battle. Then one of us charged forward and try to deliver a groin attack but to no avail.
D: I wonder how he could sustain such a horrible attack.
P: Maybe we will never know.

D: Cheer up, man. I could tell you a joke.
P: Well, yeah. The atmosphere here is so tense anyway.
D: No, Phodom. You're tense.
P: So it's just me?
D: Yep. Remember the mission when I was under your command?
P: When you were a first ranker?
D: And the mission you were promoted to the fourth ranker.
D: On our way to the mission we encountered a giant frog and then a guy suggested us ....
<cut to flashback>
The Guy: We must use the Holy Hand Grenade
DS Team's Leader: How does it... um... how does it work?
The Guy: I know not. I read about it in the Holy Tomes.
DS Team's Leader: Consult the Holy Tome IV: Tome of Armaments.
The Wizard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Apprentice Wizard: [reading] And the holy warrior raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Xyrzious, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."
The Wizard: Focus on the important part, my student...
Apprentice Wizard: And Xyrzious spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Oelivert towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
DS Team's Leader: Right. One... two... five.
P: Three, sir.
DS Team's Leader: Three
D: Fire in the hole !!!.
P: And BOOM there goes the giant frog.
<cut back to present>
D: Poor frog.