The Chosen Ones

Bloodlust Mask: Express yourself in the most violent way possible with this mask!
Aerial Sword: This sword comes with an 80's paint job.
Windy Staff: Rated at F3 on the Fujita scale, this staff is capable of relocating an entire house over the rainbow.
Jade Blade: Made of pure jade, this sword attracts both the ladies and nasty cracks.
Skeleton Cape: Wearing a cape into combat is a very stupid thing. All I have to do is step on your cape, and NECK SNAP! Stephen Hawking is teaching you how to use your fancy new wheelchair.
Mask of Illusion: Facial hair mishap? Bad haircut? Need to rob a bank? This mask solves all those problems and more!
Soldier's Set: It may look crummy, but it's better than working in an office. Making bucks, getting exercise, working outside.
Shadow Armor: If movies have taught us anything, it's that wearing black makes you perfectly invisible to baddies. Always.
Adamantine Guard: The most modern armour suit known to man is still really awkward to remove when you have to go to the bathroom in a hurry.
Arctic Gloves: Cooler than cool is this pair of gloves!
Bear Fur: Made from coarse cloth and bear hide, bringing out your inner Viking may also bring out a nasty rash.
Thunder Ring: Do not go swimming with this on.
Poison Knife: A knife filled with deadly poison. Well, what kind of poison? It doesn't matter!
Death Spike: Juggling this would be a bad idea.
I hope Aero still cares about this thing...